Lately, Soder has been working a lot of overtime. Great for us financially, but sometimes I feel like I haven't communicated the best with him. So as opposed to carrying on over text message like we have been talking lately, I thought a blog post would be more efficient.
I have been a little short with him, but have bit my tongue so this might clear up some confusion for him as to why I have been annoyed.
The baby is not attached to a cord at any time. So when I ask if you have eaten breakfast and you say I need to make some toast then look at me like I need to take the baby, he can actually be transported with you to the kitchen and be in your arms while you take the bread out to put in the toaster. The same applies when you need to get something from the bathroom or the bedroom. He has not been attached to any body or thing for over 6 months... I don't think my uterus wants to reattach to him.
When I ask if you want to change his diaper, that means that by some crazy mother induced smelling ability I know that Baby needs to be changed. Like now, like 5 minutes ago, like really, really soon. A little hustle is all I ask.
When you ask me to go take the dog out to poop, and when I say I can't because I am in my pajamas that is code for I am in my pajamas with no bra, a thin little top, and my sweat pants, with my hair all disheveled and looking like I just woke up. You on the other hand were completely ready for the day so I think you should go out with Crazy Thing Two to take care of business. Yes, I will help you get your toast ready that you managed to finally put in the toaster while holding the baby.
When I asked if you would watch the baby while I took a quick shower and your reply was you might want to wait because you have took a really long shower this morning, I was annoyed. I am not going to lie. Annoyed. All I wanted to do was take 10 minutes completely to myself before you go off to work till two and rinse the baby grime and dog slobber off of me and you had used all the hot water. I think you understood this because of the darting, scuzzy look I gave you.
I know that this will clear up any confusion we have had so I hope this helps. And for everyone who thinks that it might be a little harsh to tell him this over a post (also, in case you don't really know me, my middle name is sarcasm and inspite of everything, I do still love my husband.), everything I have typed on here is something that I would say to his face.... if only I could see it instead of him being at work all the time.