Guilty baggage of Summer

I have had guilt this summer. Lots of it. I have lost my blogging mojo and pretty much let it fall by the wayside. I have wanted to blog, but the inspiration and time haven't been there for me. (also after hearing that blogging is stupid from family members eventually it make you feel like it is a waste of time, even though I love it) I have had to go back to work part time (about 25 hours a week, which doesn't seem like much but apparently those 25 hours used to be used for my blog and all that it entailed (comments, blog stalking, etc.)) It has been hard to fit everything in, and so my poor little beloved blog has come to a screeching halt. (It has been demoted to remaining a quiet, fly under the radar blog that will never be a powerhouse like so many others.)(So I have guilt from a unloved blog.)

As for my job, (I have been working for this company since last year and just decided to pick up more hours.) I have enjoyed getting out of the house, but am sad that our situation has made it so. I am sure I am not alone when I say thing were getting really tight financially for us. It was getting to the point where we were pretty much barely making ends meet and there seemed to be a new bill every month that had to be paid. (In the last 6 months we have had our cars in the shop at least FIVE times usually costing us at least $100 every time with a couple of the times costing us over $400.)  It was pretty depressing and there was no easy solution anywhere on the horizon. I know there are people that are in worse situations than us, but MAN, I would really hate to be them because our situation was pretty gloomy. (So add Guilt from not being able to be financially comfortable . And the guilt of leaving Bub. Oh the guilt!)

Then of course, there was my mother and her health problems. I am happy to say that all her chemo treatments are completed. (And all her numbers are great so she is doing well) She is also in great spirits, but is still super tired which will just take a while to get over.  I wish I was in a better situation to fly down there (or drive) to spend time with her but, there hasn't be the funds or time to do either. She understands, but I still wish that things were different. (So add motherly GUILT squared!)

So to sum up, blog-guilt plus financial-guilt times parenting-guilt, with motherly-guilt squared equals Summer of Guilt!

Yeah, I am spent! I hope the Summer of Guilt is finally coming to an end. And hopefully that season will pass like the smoking hot temperatures that are roasting the Northwest. I am done with feeling in this gloomy rut. I am ready and recharged. And now (after this confessional blog post) felling pretty guilt-free.

Small Disclaimer: There is no real reason to worry about my mental well being (Mom I am looking at you!) Sometimes you just need to ramble on in a blog post. So no worrying about Moto! (Mom, I am still looking at you!) Everything is wonderful! :)

Miss me???

I have just been taking a 'break' from blogging for a while since we had visitors and then the catch up game for the last few weeks. It has been a crazy month, and I will post some more about it soon.
All that has really changed is that my mother is half way through her treatments and is doing well. (yeah!) She will be finished with the first (and hopefully only) round of chemo and so far hasn't been vomit-trocious, but just achy and tired.
My inlaws visited and we had a great time, but now we have no visitors on the docket so it might be a REALLY lonely summer. (especially since my mother can't travel up here until Fall.) Pictures of all the festivities while the Soder's were up here to follow.....

Welcome Back!

I made it. I went a whole week (plus some) without blogging. I survived. And now I can't think of anything to blog about. GREAT! I hope this means that I have made the creative part of my brain lazy. Now it has no inspiration.
Let's see what happened last week...
Soder's computer hard drive died. (spending money is always fun, right?)

I got paid in Starbucks to make cookies for one of Soder's co-workers. (Making 'money' is always fun, right?)

We bought Baby a new 'toy' for his birthday. It is a baby hiking backpack for him to ride in. While I don't know how much hiking we will be doing, it is great for when I want to take both dogs on a walk at the same time. (Taking a baby in a stroller with two dogs in tow is a tricky feat, one, that I will not partake in.) So this is actually a 'toy' for me. (also a great workout accessory, carrying around an extra 30 wiggly pounds has to be great weight training, right?)

My mom had her first chemo treatment and so far not a ton of horrible side effects. (she has had some, but not every one imaginable.) But a positive note, if you are looking for beanies (for when she loses her hair) if you buy them in the springtime, you can get some really great deals.

I guess it is good to be back blogging. I am sure this next few weeks will be easy to blog about, we have my first Mother's day, Soder's Bday, some very dear friends visiting, Baby's First Birthday and our Seventh anniversary. Busy, busy, busy, but in a good way.

Break from my love....

No, I am not separating from my hubby or anything THAT dramatic. I am going to take a short break from my wonderful blog.
Just for a week or so.
I have been dealing with a lot of things including, but not limited to: my mother's illness, family relationships (family members that I have butted heads with and some some family members' relationship with my blog (meaning they haven't liked what I have written on here)), and coming to grips with some trust issues among friends. I have often wanted to write all about the problems in my life, but have withheld a lot of things because I have been afraid of hurting someone or having the wrong person reading it or not wanting to talk about it in the 'real' world with people.
I have been seriously shaken to my core after the past month and often when I sit in front of the computer I feel like I have to hit the delete button and edit what I really want to say. I know that this 'editing' is for the best, but it doesn't help me when it comes to MY problems. (And the most ironic thing of all is that I don't even know if the people who have effected my life (with the exception of my mother) will even get that I am doing this because of the negative actions they have had on me.
So for my peace of mind, I will be letting it be dormant for at least a week. (I know that doesn't seem like a lot since I haven't been posting a ton, but trust me I LOVE my blog.)
(And I am sorry that I haven't commented on other blogs as well, I have no motivation to do that either.)

I am alive....

but am trying to get the whole mothering thing down a little bit.... I have free time but usually that entails holding a sleeping baby or having myself a little cat nap, oh or paying attention to my two deprived dogs. I will get back to blogging, hopefully sometimes this weekend while my parents are here visiting their cute new grandbaby. :)I have the feeling that I will be getting this look from him forever. It says to me, "Mama, you are crazy!"

Blogger's block

I have so much I want to talk about, but am not sure where to start. So if there are any suggestions from the 2 people that read this blog, ;) please feel free to ask me any questions that you would like.

It is an honor just to be nominated....

Thanks Janalyn for liking our blog.  I love reading Win and Rob
I don't even think mine is in the same boat, but thank you. :) Now I am suppose to list 7 other blogs that I read all the time that are deserving of this award.  They are:

Win and Rob

The Mellor's 

Sugary Frogs

Family Life Unraveled

Ben & Am (Sorry her's is private)

Amy and Brandon 

Tyler and Lindsay

I haven't really talked to some of you guys, but found your blogs through Jan's blog and they are very entertaining. :) Hope you don't mind.  Now all the winners, please acknowledge some other blogs that you think totally rock!  And thanks for letting me read your blogs.  :)