Sunday, September 11, 2011

Guilty baggage of Summer

I have had guilt this summer. Lots of it. I have lost my blogging mojo and pretty much let it fall by the wayside. I have wanted to blog, but the inspiration and time haven't been there for me. (also after hearing that blogging is stupid from family members eventually it make you feel like it is a waste of time, even though I love it) I have had to go back to work part time (about 25 hours a week, which doesn't seem like much but apparently those 25 hours used to be used for my blog and all that it entailed (comments, blog stalking, etc.)) It has been hard to fit everything in, and so my poor little beloved blog has come to a screeching halt. (It has been demoted to remaining a quiet, fly under the radar blog that will never be a powerhouse like so many others.)(So I have guilt from a unloved blog.)

As for my job, (I have been working for this company since last year and just decided to pick up more hours.) I have enjoyed getting out of the house, but am sad that our situation has made it so. I am sure I am not alone when I say thing were getting really tight financially for us. It was getting to the point where we were pretty much barely making ends meet and there seemed to be a new bill every month that had to be paid. (In the last 6 months we have had our cars in the shop at least FIVE times usually costing us at least $100 every time with a couple of the times costing us over $400.)  It was pretty depressing and there was no easy solution anywhere on the horizon. I know there are people that are in worse situations than us, but MAN, I would really hate to be them because our situation was pretty gloomy. (So add Guilt from not being able to be financially comfortable . And the guilt of leaving Bub. Oh the guilt!)

Then of course, there was my mother and her health problems. I am happy to say that all her chemo treatments are completed. (And all her numbers are great so she is doing well) She is also in great spirits, but is still super tired which will just take a while to get over.  I wish I was in a better situation to fly down there (or drive) to spend time with her but, there hasn't be the funds or time to do either. She understands, but I still wish that things were different. (So add motherly GUILT squared!)

So to sum up, blog-guilt plus financial-guilt times parenting-guilt, with motherly-guilt squared equals Summer of Guilt!
Yeah, I am spent! I hope the Summer of Guilt is finally coming to an end. And hopefully that season will pass like the smoking hot temperatures that are roasting the Northwest. I am done with feeling in this gloomy rut. I am ready and recharged. And now (after this confessional blog post) felling pretty guilt-free.

Small Disclaimer: There is no real reason to worry about my mental well being (Mom I am looking at you!) Sometimes you just need to ramble on in a blog post. So no worrying about Moto! (Mom, I am still looking at you!) Everything is wonderful! :)

1 comment:

Traci said...

Just wanted to say we love you! :)